i FINALLY got a local psychiatrist. only, what, five years after a campus psychiatrist suggested that if the university setting let him prescribe controlled drugs, he might try treating me for ADHD when i came in complaining of focus issues. during pandemic, i got generic strattera via an online portal which i was really sallying up to more in expectation of a possible anxiety prescription. anxiety levels honestly haven’t been that bad (or at least with the pandemic going, anxiety feels like it has solid CAUSE and appropriate response), but a comprehensive psych eval had said to try treating anxiety for a year first before looking too hard at ADHD… but both psychiatrists now have looked vexed and moved along to discussing ADHD treatment options.
i’ve spent the last two weeks transitioning from strattera to ritalin. the doc expects ritalin to not be my final drug — my blood pressure is too borderline high, and he likes options that time release better… but it’s apparently the order in which we must try things for insurance purposes.
after getting the strattera back to a minimal dose, i started 5 mg of ritalin. and went up to 10 mg after about a week. today i’m adding in an extra 5 mg at lunchtime to try until next appointment with my doctor.
i hadn’t thought the strattera was doing much. the 5 mg ritalin and none of it made it clear that it HAD been. afternoon meetings were painful, with all the fidgeting and begging to be released so i could go get my laptop and DO something. on 10 mg, i feel like i’m more or less back where i was.
i’m becoming more aware of how much i really DO interrupt people… as i was initially reading up on ADHD, i brushed that one to the side as a “nah.” my habit of hyper-participating in classes and meetings now looks like a coping strategy — if i’m JUST taking notes, i risk much more mind wandering. it’s honestly pretty startling how much the picture starts to fit together.
this feels so slow. i’m at a year of therapy, four months of trying psychiatric treatment. but compared to decades never seeking assistance… six months is really nothing, i suppose.